Tuesday, October 25, 2011

True, true...

All those comments about being crazy to even be thinking about more kids are true... kind of. 

First off, it's only that - THINKING about more kids.  We're not trying.  Not even "not trying, but not preventing" trying.  13 months apart was a shock to the system and we agreed to wait until Caroline was 1 year old to even CONSIDER "not trying, but not preventing."  The fact that she is closing the gap on 1 year old is what brought this thought to the surface.

Secondly, Caroline is nearly a year old!  Pregnancy lasting 10 months and all, she would be nearly 2 year old IF we concieved right off the bat.  And 2 years is a nice gap - they're moving towards potty training, toddler beds, don't use bottles, don't wake up at night, etc etc.  People don't think you're crazy when you have a 2 year gap; the kids are friends but you have a respectible break for yourself.

Third, there's a good chance we won't concieve right off the bat.  Yeah, it happened decently fast with the first, and VERY fast with the second and third, but I've talked to plenty of people with mutltiple kids where one was concieved by the end of the night, another was concieved barely before the end of the year.  Just 'cause it happened quickly before doesn't mean it will necessarily happen that way again.  In case it does, though, that's why we waited until Caroline's 1st birthday (nice 2 year gap, remember?).

Fourth, you can never afford children.  Couldn't afford them then, can't afford them now.  Having children makes no financial sense unless you live on a farm and they will milk the cows for you so you don't have to hire farmhands.  We don't have a farm, or even a single dairy cow, so we might as well have kids sooner than later (we won't be able to afford them later, you know).  We lived in apartments for years, then bought a foreclosure, we drive used cars, I shop with coupons and price-matches but NOT with food stamps or WIC (and I'm not hatin' on anybody who does or has, life can throw you curveballs sometimes!), my husband has a steady job with good insurance (not Medicaid, but life threw US a curveball once) and I work part-time to help out the family financially while still allowing me to be a full-time SAHM (I work at night).  We are, by no means, living the high life, and there's a good chance we never will since we've decided to have a "large" family. Growing up with friends in families of 10, 12, or more children it boggles my mind that people think 4 kids is a lot!  But looking into the future I can only see happiness in gathering my children around me.  Nope, I won't be able to gather a time-share and a new Audi around me (probably not even an old, used Audi), but I also won't be able to visit them when it's all ashes to ashes and dust to dust. So no, we can't afford any more children, but somehow it always works out.  It's weird like that. 

"Lots" of kids might not be for everyone, and SERIOUSLY lots of kids (10, 12, or more) probably isn't for me, so I get where people think that.  I also know that having only 1 or 2 kids isn't for me (if you couldn't tell by now). Sometimes people with lots of kids also have lots of money, sometimes people with 1 or 2 kids are barely scraping by with extra assistance, and sometimes it's all vice versa.  It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world out there, and I'm just happy I have the opportunity to have my family, whatever our income or size.  And some day, but not some day 9 months from now, I look forward to greeting whoever chooses to come to our family next.  I know they'll be loved, adored, and smothered with kisses by mom, dad, and all their crazy siblings.

I'm out.


Elsha said...

Million dollars says you're pregnant again before I have this baby.

Kari and Jonathan said...

I'm absolutely happy for you and your "huge" family. I'm just happy I can "give them back" at the end of our visits. :) I do love them like they're my own though, without them being my own, so go on and have more for me to love!! :)

The Miz said...

Totally don't think you're crazy. Us big family "wanters" need to stick together. Solidarity baby! ;)

Rebecca Aycock

Gina Lozano said...

Jake is the biggest blessing in our lives. Neither Ryan or I have ever been so proud of anything before, or so completely fulfilled. I think I have a better idea of where you are coming from now!