Friday, April 26, 2013

That's what you get...

Reading books keep me up 'til all hours of the night. Every dang day I SWEAR I will go to bed at a decent time and NOT stay up in bed reading for 3 hours but you know what? "One more chapter" turns into "I lose, reading wins." Touché, reading, touché.

EXCEPT reading kids books, those things kill me! I adore reading to my kids one at a time, or possible two at a time - I LOATHE reading to all three at once, Caroline insists on sitting on my lap and her hair gets stuck in my mouth while I read and the kids fight that they can't seeeee even though they can see perfectly well because I'm holding the books aloft because I'm holding my chin aloft so Caroline's hair doesn't get stuck in my mouth... it's awful. But that's not what kills me. What kills me is how tired they make me! Especially if I have stayed up disgustingly late the night before reading my own grown-up books, there is absolutely not hope for the kids getting more than 4 books out of me.  Here's the progression: I read book #1 upright on the couch, then sink down and read book #2 upright on the floor, then lay on my tummy on the floor and read book #3, then making them choose a book I know by heart so I can "read" book #4 with my eyes closed while I hope they give up and go away. Works great! So the other day the 3 big kids were tormenting me with this reading fiasco and I was so exhausted I was sleep-talking rather than actually reading (drat you, "Garden of Beasts" and midnight bedtimes and Ethan teething!), so I called a spade a spade, laid down and demanded a blanket, and gave in to a power nap, drooling into the carpet.

I should note to naysayers and my own worried mother that I don't sleep sleep. I was in the middle of the room my kids were playing in, often they were playing ON me, and I was aware of what they were doing without being 100% conscious - they'll attest to being chastised for jumping on the couch (I can feel the vibrations), turning on the sink (I can hear water running), or hitting each other (the tell-tale thump and subsequent scream are unmistakable), all while I am "napping." Sometimes I wake up and regret that I closed my eyes for one second, as the kids are soaking wet or have dug a hole in the yard or ripped the pages out of a book (all things they can do [and have done] while I am perfectly awake, just in another room). Sometimes I wake up and get the BEST SURPRISE EVER: my kid's first book!

Patrick got busy and put together an informational book, for anyone interested on the subject. See if you can guess by the picture or by sounding out the letters!
No? Don't worry, I'll translate. It's "All About Snakes." This one's a hooded cobra, hence the funny-shaped lump behind its head.

 This is an "Extra Page." He wasn't happy with how the frill turned out, so it's not actually part of the book.

 "Some snakes spit. Some Snakes (represented by letter S) don't" That's a circle of spit, I guess the snake drooled on the book.

 "Snakes have fangs but some snakes don't have poison." That's a fang dripping poison, for dramatic effect.

 "Snakes can have frills. Some snakes do not" I guess that's a frill without a snake attached.

"Snakes always have fangs."
So there you have it. I should DEFINITELY take naps so Patrick will write more books.


Kathy said...

Nothing puts me to sleep faster then reading a good old fashioned kids book. Ask Larke. One time I was reading to her and fell asleep, then I told her to read because I couldn't handle reading 2 words at a time anymore and she kept trying to ask me what one of the words was. I couldn't however stay awake long enough for her to finish spelling the word for me to tell her what it was. It was pretty pathetic.

Kari and Jonathan said...

Haha, Kathy's story made me laugh.

Patrick is amazing. First of all, what kid actually does productive things while their mom naps? Second, a book?! I can't wait until he does something awesome with his life so you can be like, "he started writing/drawing at age 3 and the rest is history!"

Elsha said...

First of all, Patrick is awesome, and that book is awesome. Second of all, I think you inherited that "kids books put you to sleep" from mom. She gets all yawn-y and starts reading while laying on the floor too. I can read for like an hour. In fact, that was one of the few things I could do with the kids while I was pregnant with Daniel and all I wanted to do was sleep.

Tante Sherrye said...

Back when AJ was a crawler:
I used to sleep on the floor in his room a too. Since it was the one room in the house 100% child-proof it was a totally safe bet! He played & crawled around, I got my well deserved, partially unconscious time with closed eyes.