Funny Kids Tids (tidbits, that is)

Just some humorous tidbits that have been overheard from my kids lately... I realize I used to do them a lot more, so now I've been listening a lot more and writing them down again. Good thing! They were funny this week.

Patrick and Eli helped me clean out some of the air ducts in our kitchen this week - they needed to be vacuumed out and have the vent covers washed. They were gross. I'm not a picky person, so if *I* think they were gross the general population may have deemed them disgusting. But not anymore, of course, now they are CLEAN. Patrick was so proud of his job scrubbing and drying off with 11 paper towels (sorry, trees, I miss you already!) he declared, "Sheesh, I could do this, like, every frickin' day!"  "Sheesh," a "like" filler, and "frickin'" all in one sentence from my 5-year-old. So proud :)

Caroline lined up a bunch of stuffed animals and was singing to them.  As I walked past she told me, "I putting my babies to bed." I said, "Awwww, that's sweet that you're singing to them." She deadpanned me and said, "No (in a "no-duh-you-idiot" tone), my MONKEY is singing to them." Sure enough, she had a very small stuffed monkey in her lap. Very soon she will have mastered the art of eye rolling, and she has yet to turn 3 years old.

Here's my still-2-year-old in sponge roller. We'll see how that turns out in the morning.

 

Each night before bed Caroline like me to snuggle her. I'm all for a good snuggle, but she's in a modified crib (open in the front) so I can't exactly lay in her bed (without breaking it, that is) and it's a tricky angle to snuggle on the floor, so I do my best and tell her I'll snuggle for one minute. Lately she's been very annoyed that as I breathe through my nose I am breathing on her shoulder. She shrugs away and tells me I am "niffling" her. Heaven forbid, here comes some niffles!

The boys were watching a dino documentary on Netflix today, narrated by Donald Sutherland - it's a good one, and you can always TELL it's going to be a good one if it's narrated by Donald Sutherland. Sorry Ben Stiller, your narration stinks. But anyway, they wanted this documentary on in the background because then they had all their toy dinos out to fight. At one point Patrick's dinosaur exclaimed, "I'll sacrifice myself for you!" Then aside to Eli, "Do you know what sacrifice means? It meant to die for something important so that someone else can live." They kept on playing, then one of the dinosaurs must have bit the dust because Eli said, "Nooooooo!" (with exactly the voice inflection you're imagining from a lame movie). Patrick responded in a light, angelic voice, "It's okay, I'll see you in Heaven...."  So now we know, all dogs AND all dinosaurs go to heaven.   

On the All Dogs Go To Heaven bit, just last month I met a couple who named their only child, a girl, Charlie. Not a nickname. The mom said she loved the name ever since ADGTH. I just hope that girl is a HOTTIE when she gets older, because then Charlie is a stroke of genius; if not, Charlie is a cruel joke that she will be yoked with the rest of her days. Hopefully she got a girly middle name just in case.