Seriously, I never thought I could say (or type) the word "doula" without suppressing a giggle. It's such a weird word, and so unused you don't get used to it like other weird words... that is, unless you start getting serious about having a doula with you during labor. Which I have gotten serious about.
Before being in labor with Patrick I took preparatory classes with Joe, who was very supportive of both the classes and of me doing what I wanted during labor. I felt ready to go until I actually was in labor, hours and hours and hours of stupid labor, when I kicked myself for not having a backup plan for support. I love Joe dearly, and heaven knows he did the best he could, but 31 hours is long for anyone - as much as you love your sports team, even the cheerleaders on the sidelines would become less enthusiastic if the game dragged on 31 hours. So while I labored, Joe napped, chatted with the nurses, and gave me backrubs when I demanded them, but I seemed to be missing something - or someone. Someone to sense what I needed so that I didn't have to ask (I'm already in labor, don't make me ask to take a walk, get a backrub, and single-handedly refuse pain meds while the nurses give me pitying looks!). It was the first time for both of us, and we both did the best we knew how, but I guess in the end I wanted someone who has BEEN THERE to BE THERE for ME. Enter: a doula.
While searching for that Someone for this time around, I interviewed 1 midwife and 2 doulas. The midwife was actually kind of a jerk who was very negative about my experience last time ("you shouldn't have..." and "I would never have...") and negative about any woman considering a hospital birth. I'm actually very pro-home-birth after researching on it during my last pregnancy, but due to high-risk factors for me and possibly the most negative home-birth husband you could ask for, I was (and will be) happy enough to have my baby in a hospital, thank-you-very-much. She relented when I told her the doctor had decided to c-section when Patrick's heart rate dropped to 40 beats/minute - she said even she, Hospital Hater McGee, would have emergency transferred me to the hospital for such a low heart rate. HA!
On to the doulas, who were both VERY sweet and sympathetic to my tale while being supportive of my wishes for next time around. I'm quite set on doing a vbac, though it'll be harder to turn down the epidural this time since I am now fully aware of HOW GOOD IT FEELS. Serena, the doula I've settled on, assured me that having a baby face the right way will be MUCH more bearable than sunny-side-up, so perhaps I can avoid the epidural after all. We'll see. We're going to focus on making that happen before labor even starts, and when labor DOES start she can help me through, along with Joe (who said he would only be there if I wasn't such a jerk during labor this time). Combining my doctor's support, my doula's support and my husband's support (maybe, if I'm not a jerk) I'm feeling downright positive about having a successful vbac! No more 3-month recovery period where I have to walk on eggshells and want to die! (I don't think the c-section recovery would have been too bad, but back-to-back surgeries really knocked me on my rear). No dealing with not being able to pickup Patrick because he is, quite frankly, heavier than the newborn, the "maximum weight limit" post-c-section. And no more awful, awful scars to add to my collection. It's still a long ways away, but wish me luck, I'm going to need it.
5 comments:
Yeah, I read up on labor support people last time and it's supposed to make a huge difference to have a support person who is a)female and b)has experienced natural childbirth before in the room with you. (C-section rates are lower for women who do.) That's what Brian's mom was for and I can tell you that even though the time I was in the hospital before they actually did the c-section was short, she was MUCH more helpful than Brian.
Also, you should read up on things you can do during pregnancy for optimal baby positioning -head down and anterior (aka face down). There are lots of things you can do to help. I was careful of them last time and Kalena was positioned perfectly so I know I'll be following those rules again next time.
Glad you found one you like -it's really important in labor to have someone there for support even though you do it all yourself. I can't believe Joe during your labor. hmmm! Did you interview my midwife? just curious. hope you guys are well!
Way to be proactive in your pregnancy! I really believe having someone in the room with you who believes that you can do it really helps. I know that you can have a natural delivery if you want. Just don't beat yourself us about it. :)
Just learn everything there is to know and then come be my doula!!
I will be waving the kirsta flag of support! Go doulas!! I am for sure getting one for the next child :)
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