I'm checking in from Grand Junction, where Patrick and I have come to hang out at my parent's house. We came over by ourselves - our first long trip without Joe! I was terrified, but Patrick slept most of the 6-hour drive, which, incidentally, has been the most he's slept SINCE WE GOT HERE.
We've been busy shopping and cooking, more shopping, some baking, and finally running errands (to the mall, aka shopping) - quite an agenda to wear a mom AND a baby out! And believe you me, Patrick IS tired - the yawns, eye rubs, crabby mood, head-on-my-shoulder-as-soon-as-I-pick-him-up move.... the whole 9 yards. So it is NAP TIME (or NIGHT TIME, depending on the time of day, of course). But Patrick is a sensitive soul (or the spawn of satan, depending on how long it's been since I slept) and is completely unwilling to sleep in his new accomodations. We have a pack-n-play set up in my bedroom in the back corner of the upstairs - nice and quite, complete with a fan running for white noise, a sweet santa night light, and an extra blanket beneath him for added softness. To me: a little piece of heaven. To Patrick: HELL. At least he sounds like he's being poked by little devils dancing around him with pitchforks, the way he screams for me! And it's like this every time we take a trip and he has to sleep in the dreaded pack-n-play. I've tried to make bedtime as familiar as possible, with a warm pre-bed bath, same jammies, same nursing, same nigh-nigh song (even the same number of VERSES of the song), but he's still upset when I lay him down. So I do the same comfort routine as home - 5 minutes, then pick him up for some snuggles, then back down. But he's still upset. So we do the routine again. And again. And again. And then I start getting desperate because this is obviously not working, just please please go to sleep it's been an hour! He's still upset (possibly MORE upset because I am obviously not giving in on this "bedtime" thing and those devils are waiting for him in the pack-n-play) and screaming and I'm getting more and more desperate because it's getting to be MY bedtime, just pleasepleasepleaselaydownandsleep.... and maybe, if we're lucky, he's so exhausted he gives in. If we're not so lucky, I give in and he comes to bed with me so HE sleeps but I am a quiet contortionist all night, trying to avoid his kicks to the crotch but also trying to do so as quietly as possible so he doesn't wake up and start the whole process again. Which he does anyway, at least 4 times between midnight at 6 a.m. I wish he could talk so he could tell me what's wrong and I could fix it! And then he could also tell me that I am the most awesome mom in the world for putting up with his shennanigans and he bought me diamonds for Christmas and a "coupon book" for backrubs, because otherwise I am not in the mood for one more night of this.
The worst part is I feel like such a bad mom. His cousin Espen sleeps through the night like a champ! I want that! His cousin Kalena holds odd hours (like play time from midnight 'til 2 am) but she does it with a SMIIIIIIILE on her face; Patrick just screams at me each and every time he's up. So WHY is he sleeping so terribly? Why do other babies sleep through the night at 3 months old (or even 4 or 5 or 6 months, or EVER) yet my nearly-one-year-old child is up every hour throughout the night for no reason? What have I done to deserve this???
Q: Is it medical, like he's in pain?
A. He's fine the entire day, he only freaks out at bedtime, and only if it's not his bed at home. He sleeps FINE there (not through the night, but he DOES go to bed). Just in case, I give him Tylenol after the 6th middle-of-the-night wakeup but since he's up an hour after that as well I am led to believe pain has nothing to do with it. I just wish they made baby Tylenol with sedatives. That would sell like hot-cakes even to the mothers who are reading this and shaking their heads. We all have our breaking points, you may just not have been introduced to yours yet. Or you've been introduced and you've forgotten. But remember me when it comes around again.
Q: Is he uncomfortable? Too hot? Too cold? Wet diaper?
A: TRUST ME. None of the above. Empty what's full, fill what's empty, scratch where it itches, and he's STILL mad.
Q: Is he hungry?
A: He'd BETTER not be since, in my desperate attempt to keep him from waking the rest of the house up, I nurse him almost every time he wakes up.... so, on average, he eats 6 times a night (on vacation). If you are still hungry after that we have more problems than bedtime! (and, like the question of pain, we do not have a problem all day, so a problem all night just doesn't make sense)
Q: Could he just need more comfort?
A: Yes, apparantly, since he is zonked out on my shoulder the second I pick him up. But since I am NOT a horse and canNOT sleep standing up, this is not going to work. And co-sleeping only goes so far, as I mentioned (quiet contortionist? remember?).
So all I can do is hope he find a new routine and accepts his travel bed SOON because I get grumpy on this pitiful amount of poorly-had sleep. My bleary-eyed self does not want advice comments back, I don't want to be chastised for my Tylenol remark, and I think I'll cry if you tell me your baby has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks old. That is not helpful. What I need is a HUG and a NAP and possibly a day without my son so I can have a chance to miss him.
6 comments:
You poor thing!! I'm sorry. No sleep has to be the worst thing that can happen to a mother. I've been having similar issues with my little one. It's awful. If you get really desperate yo may try benadryl :). And no, I do not judge you for the tylenol comment.
Ask me.. I'm the Queen of hating bedtime. I don't like the dark, I hate night because that's when bad things happen and people get sick. So ask mom how long she had to rock me to sleep in the recliner. And even then, every time her rocking would slow down I would wake up and say, "don't stop!". And even then, half those nights I would get up in the middle of the night to go sleep in her bed. I feel his scardy-cat-ness. That's all it is
don't be so hard on yourself! ALL babies are different & you are not a bad mom if your baby doesn't "sleep through the night" - which technically is just 5 hours! Babies aren't designed to sleep through the night - it is a neurological thing with their brains. Also around 7-8 months they get separation anxiety & that can last for months. What about teething?? Try to put yourself in his shoes. He just wants to be by mom - warm, comfortable & soothing! In the day you can distract him & he is fine. Night time is a scary, lonely time esp when you aren't in familiar surroundings. Max slept with us on the whole trip & it worked really well. They are young for such a small time...enjoy the closeness. I think when you become a mom you can count on years of no sleep. Soon you'll be up at night worrying about something else they are doing.....
Hi Kirsta! It's Eve from birthing class. I feel your pain! Grace still wakes up an average of 3 times per night, and that's just when we're at home! We went to Albuquerque over Thanksgiving. As if being in a different location every 2 nights wasn't enough, G was teething & had a cold. Oh my, she was in bed with me every night having a nurse fest, and then I had to pretend to be cheery for the in-laws the next day(s). But what can you do except drink a lot of coffee and keep it all in perspective by remembering that 1) some day we'll be dying for these little people to snuggle us and they'll be too cool (get your snuggles in while you can!), and 2)sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture - it's ok to feel hideously grouchy after 3 scant hours of sleep (just not at them - it's not like they're being intentionally frustrating)! I guess this verges on advice, which you'd not wanted, but my point is really to empathize. I do understand - we're getting a recliner for G's nursery so Rob can help me out and sleep in there with her on the really brutal teething nights. Aside from the lack of sleep, I hope all is well with your little family! Merry Christmas!
there is a really good article about cosleeping & sleeping close to your baby & how babies sleep in the current issue of mothering magazine. They have it at the library. Basically babies don't sleep like adults just like they don't eat or walk & talk etc...it's a learned process. It's common for them to wake at night for the first 2 years. It's sad our society & culture here has a hard time accepting that babies need to be close to mom just like they do during the day. I recommend reading it!
I know this post is old, but I just wanted to tell you that even though Kalena is smiley happy baby, we would buy STOCK in infant tylenol with sedatives. Because you're right. Everyone has a breaking point:)
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