Trite becomes true

You know that saying "fail to plan and you plan to fail"? Yes, I seem to be doing my best to make that come true with my delivery. 

We moved when I was about 23 weeks along or so and I called arond prior to moving to scope out which hospitals in Pueblo do VBAC deliveries (only 1, Parkview), and got the names of a few doctors who specifically do them.  As we got busy and packed and moved that list got lost but I remembered a couple names, so I'd call when I remembered.  I managed to ALWAYS remember on a Saturday or Friday after business hours (for some reason everyone closes at noon on Friday), so those calls were pretty unhelpful and I'd swear I'd remember to try again Monday morning.  *guess what I neever remembered come Monday morning?* It became a standing joke with Joe that I really needed to find a doctor one of these days! 

So sitting at 30 weeks (sounds awful, but it's really only like I missed ONE regular appointment, assuming I could get in quickly to a doctor here.... ASSUMING....) I finally got in gear and started calling around and there is some SERIOUS failing happening.  First, there were 4 doctors the Womens' Services Director at Parkview hospital recommended and 2 are not taking new patients.  WHAAAAT?!  This is SO unheard of for me, I NEVER called an OB, Pediatrician, Dentist, Optometrist, ETC that was NOT taking new patients in Denver.  Are there just fewer Dr's per capita in Pueblo? Or are they stingier on how many patients they have on their files? Or are Puebloans more needy in their health care so on Dr can only handle 1 Puebloan vs. 3 Denverites?  All unanswered questions, all I know is that cut my list in half.  The 3rd IS taking new patients and will be able to see me.... in September. I'm due September 30th. The 4th is taking new patients BUT they need to see my medical files because they don't usually take patients so late in gestation.  Uhhhh... whoops. That was my fault, obviously, but what if someone moves in who is 30 weeks along? Or further? My mom said she moved to Nebraska 2 weeks before Elsha was born, would they just not take her?  Well, those were simpler times, I suppose, and maybe Nebraska doesn't have needy medical patients like Pueblo, Colorado....  But I digress. So they're unsure whether they'll take me, they need to have my medical files transferred first for review.  I didn't wait til Monday, I hopped on the phone that very minute to the Women's Group in Thornton who are VERY helpful and can get my records faxed over... in 7-10 business days.  Okay, now we're 2 weeks out from them reviewing my medical history when they MAY accept me as a patient (more likely, they may NOT, this situation is getting alarming), then we need to schedule a "new patient appointment" which will undoubtedly be another 2-4 weeks, if not months.  New patient appointments are now on my "weird Pueblo things" list, I NEVER did this with myself or any of my children, but the doctors here WILL NOT see you unless you have been to their office prior to meet them.  Really, you need a meet-n-greet to diagnose my 2-year-old's rash?!?  Finding THAT nasty piece out (and having to go to urgent care for a stupid rash in the meantime) had me call a pediatrician in June who could see my kids for this new patient appointment at the convenient time of 10:00 a.m., SEPTMEBER 14th.  2 months out.  Just to say hello.  I'm beginning to think this town is taking crazy pills.

Anywho, delay on top of delay when I was expecting, oh, NONE, brings me to a whopping 36 weeks!  Why even BOTHER?! So then I started thinking....

....why even bother?  What about a home birth? Surely Registered Midwives are not as ridiculous as doctors offices, and considering Caroline's quick delivery I was ALREADY toying with it for this one... so I emailed around to some Midwives in the area and got the message that midwives take a sort of pledge not to treat patients who have blood problems like lymphoma, hemophelia, or (like me) blood clotting issues.  DRAT 100 TIMES!! WHY!?!? 

My third option (not a good thing when "plan C" on your list may be your best hope) is to go to Colorado Springs which, I hear, has more hospitals and doctors who will do VBACs.  Still have to do the medical records transfer and probably endure a new patient visit, but at least people won't talk to me like I've sprouted three heads and want to be seen for treatment.  I'm having a BABY, people, you act like I'm asking for magical moon rocks from space!  Now, back to Caroline's quick delivery, I HATE "plan C" because I will probably end up having this baby on the side of I-25, somewhere north or Fountain and precisely in the middle of NOWHERE.  Wave to me as you drive by! One hour, start to finish, barely gave us time to get to North Suburban hospital 15 minutes away; One hour, start to finish, would be disaster in the back of my Honda Pilot if I'm going to Colorado Springs, one hour away.

My fourth option (plan D)is to say "screw you" to the medical profession and just wait until I go into labor, make sure I'm at least at 9 centimenters, and waltz (or be wheeled, screaming) into the emergency room where they will just have to catch the baby and can't demand I be sliced open.  With a doula (like I had with Eli) I think this option looks mighty do-able right now.  Besides, I doubt a doula would need to see all my stupid medical records.

And wait, I've come up with "plan E" : move in with my parents until this baby comes; VBACs are allowed in Grand Junction, they have a bed for me, and I hear they've got a new kitchen I need to see. PERFECT.